Say what?


What did you say? Did you really say that to yourself? Whew, our self-talk can be toxic. It’s certainly something that I stay conscious of myself and with clients.


What is self-talk? It is talk or thoughts directed at oneself. Psychologists believe that the vast majority of our emotions come from the way we talk to ourselves and thus create how we perceive the world at large. So, if you see the world as a scary place, there is a good possibility that you are focused on what you don’t like about yourself.


Do you pay attention to your self-talk? Most of us are on autopilot and not even fully aware of what we are saying to ourselves.


“When you are on autopilot, life is living you; you are not living life.” – Carol CC Miller


I encourage you to pay attention to your self-talk, as through awareness, you can adjust as needed or stay on course.


A few tips on being kinder to yourself:


  1. Be aware of how you feel. Through your awareness, you can adjust as necessary. Perhaps you are angry right now or disappointed. When you are aware of how you feel, you have choices. You can choose to stay angry, or you can choose to move through the anger into a better feeling place.
  2. Now that you are becoming aware of your self-talk and discovering that it’s not very kind, rather than beating yourself up about it, get curious. Curiosity is higher energy and will help you shift. Ask yourself why do you say that about yourself? Why do you think poorly about yourself? As the answers come, listen and be gentle.
  3. Be your own bestie. If you were to write down all the negative things you say about yourself, I am pretty sure you wouldn’t say one of them to your friends, to those you LOVE. You are with YOU 24/7, so start treating yourself as your own best friend. You are kind to your friends, be kind to you.
  4. Be gentle with yourself as you start practicing kinder self-talk. Your initial practice might surprise you with just how unkind you are to yourself. However, if you beat yourself up because of it, you keep yourself in that lower energy. Each time you become aware of your self-talk is another chance to turn it around to something kinder.
  5. I HIGHLY encourage you to watch the LOVE Yourself video I shared below. Don’t just listen to it – WATCH IT. Oh, and if you get the chance to see him live – GO! 🙂


Mostly my wish for you is to be kinder to YOU simply because you are a magnificent being, and there isn’t anyone else like you in this big beautiful, messy world.


Until next time, I LOVE you, and I hope you LOVE you too.


Below is a recent Embrace Your Life Chat, where I discussed our self-talk and how we tend to be our worst enemies. Take a listen, and tune in today at 11:30 AM CST for another Embrace Your Life Chat on Positive Focus.


I choose kind and LOVING thoughts, words, and actions towards myself.


Words to LOVE by:

Be gentle with your words, your heart is listening. – Carol CC Miller

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. – Buddha

Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option. – Mark Twain


Sounds for YOUR Soul:

LOVE Myself – Andy Grammer

Andy Grammer - Love Myself (Official Music Video)

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