Is there anything in your life right now you are trying to make work? In my coaching practice and my life, I focus on thoughts, words, and actions. I focus on them being kind, LOVING, and compassionate. That is my intentional daily focus, but it doesn’t mean I live in that space 24/7. Sometimes I try and make things work rather than allowing them to. Read on…
I don’t know about you, but I’ve tried to ‘make’ lots of things work in my life from all types of relationships, jobs, cars, and living arrangements. I go full steam ahead and give it my all to ‘make it work.’ Now, many things worthy in life require practice and work. I’m not talking about the normal effort put in to get things done. I’m talking about ‘making it work.’ I’m talking about trying to get a square peg in a round hole and forcing it to work.
Sometimes I can get so carried away with making it work that I haven’t slowed down to ask myself if this is the right fit for them or me. Is the job the right fit? Is the relationship the right fit? Is the (fill in the blank) the right fit? Working hard to make things work is great as long as you pay attention to the signs that signify something is unbalanced, and it’s just not working. Or at least not working right now. This does not mean the circumstance or person is in the wrong; it just means it’s not the right circumstance or person for you right now.
If you are struggling with ‘making it work,’ I encourage you to:
Pay attention to your feelings. In the big picture, does the circumstance or relationship bring you more happiness than it does frustration? If the answer is yes, keep working at it. If the answer is no, look at ways to release the person/situation or lessen your time with them/it.
Do you feel respected? Healthy relationships with others require respect. Ask yourself if you feel respected. If yes – keep at it. If no – release the relationship or lessen your time with them.
Do you respect them? Again, healthy relationships require respect. If you respect them – keep at it. If not – release the relationship or lessen your time with them.
Do you share similar values? People often talk about having friends from varying backgrounds and not agreeing with them on everything. That is so very true, and yet, if your values aren’t aligned, I suspect it’s a ‘make it work’ relationship. If your values are similar – keep at it; if not – release the relationship or lessen your time with them.
Pay attention to how they are showing up rather than how you want them to show up. Just because we see their potential doesn’t mean they are ready for it and/or want it for themselves. I encourage you to see the highest good in others while respecting them for where they are at right now in their life. If who they are showing up as works for you – keep at it; if not – release the relationship or lessen your time with them.
Know how important the relationship is to you. If it’s important in your life, then do what you can with what you have to make it work while knowing you can only control yourself and not how the other person will show up. Let them know your needs to create a healthy relationship as they should tell you what their needs are too. If it’s a lesser relationship (perhaps social media friends you only know online), then perhaps it’s just you deciding to release the relationship or lessen your interaction with them. You get to decide if a discussion is needed or not.
Underst all of the above will allow your life to have an easier flow to it. I’m not saying it will be rainbows and puppy dogs all the time, but I am saying when paying attention to your healthy relationships while lessening time to your unhealthy ones, you will feel more in the flow with life rather than flowing against it. I feel like I need to remind you, this isn’t about right or wrong; it’s about what fits for you and who you want to share your time, energy, and heart with. Sometimes it’s releasing them completely, and sometimes it’s lessening your time with them. Either option opens up space for healthier relationships. LOVE all and choose wisely who to share your precious time with.
Mostly my wish for you is to be open to allowing your relationships to be supportive, kind, collaborative, fun, and all things good rather than making them work.
Until next time, live your true colors while allowing others to do the same.
I align my thoughts, words, and actions to what is best for my highest good.
Words to LOVE by:
“A man watches his pear tree day after day, impatient for the ripening of the fruit. Let him attempt to force the process, and he may spoil both fruit and tree. But let him patiently wait, and the ripe pear at length falls into his lap.” – Abraham Lincoln
“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Go with the flow. Force nothing. Let it happen, or not happen… trusting in whichever way it goes, it’s for the best.” – Mandy Hale
Sounds for your soul: