was speaking with a client I’ve worked with for several years, as she continues to grow her business and create a life she enjoys. Our sessions cover a wide range of topics, from professional goals to everyday life moments, including the celebrations, the struggles, and everything in between. No matter the focus, our conversations often come back to one core truth: reframing challenges and finding gratitude and positivity in them.
She’s good at that. She knows that when you first get hit with unexpected or unpleasant news, your brain often rushes to “what now?” You might feel angry, frustrated, or scared. And that’s normal. Feeling those things doesn’t make you weak or ungrateful. It makes you human. Eventually, most of us can find the silver lining, but there’s a crucial step in between that often gets overlooked: feeling the emotion first.
That’s what I reminded her of on this call. Frustration, sadness, or even resentment can be part of the healing. Part of the path toward a better-feeling thought. Pretending those emotions aren’t there or trying to cover them with a quick smile is not positivity. That’s emotional bypassing.
You know I’m not an absolutist. I’m not positive one hundred percent of the time. I am generally positive, as it’s a value of mine that I work on. I still get angry. I still get scared. And sometimes, those emotions stick around longer than I’d like. However, I do the work to return to the mindset I’ve chosen to live in, because that’s where I feel most like myself.
Moving forward, I encourage you to navigate those heavier feelings by:
Catching them in the moment
When you feel a wave of frustration, sadness, or fear, pause and acknowledge it. Don’t shove it aside. Notice it. You might even thank it, as it’s often a part of you asking to be seen or heard. Then let it out in a healthy way. Perhaps that’s journaling, moving your body, or talking it through with someone who understands.
Naming it without judgment
Say it out loud or write it down. “I feel overwhelmed.” “I feel unappreciated.” “I feel nervous about what’s next.” Naming your emotions fosters awareness, and awareness empowers you to make informed choices. It puts you back in the driver’s seat.
Choosing gentleness
Instead of getting frustrated with yourself for feeling frustrated, try softening. Ask, “What do I need right now?” A little kindness toward yourself in those moments can make all the difference.
Re-centering on your intention
Once you’ve felt what you need to feel, gently come back to the energy you want to live in. Whether that’s peace, hope, strength, or something else, let it be your next step. Not a giant leap. Just the next small move that feels like love.
Feeling it first isn’t a weakness. It’s part of moving forward. Genuine positivity isn’t about skipping over the hard stuff. It’s about walking through it with care and then deciding what you want to carry with you.
I work with people on this all the time, and I also practice it in my own life. I feel the frustration, the sadness, the worry. I don’t stay there. I’ve learned how to navigate those feelings and return to the version of myself I want to be. And I help others do the same. Whether you’re moving through a celebration, a challenge, or a season of uncertainty, I’m here to support you.
Affirmation:
I honor all my feelings.
Words to Love By:
Emotions are meant to be felt, not feared. — Elizabeth Gilbert
Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. — Brené Brown
You can’t heal what you don’t feel. — Oprah Winfrey
Sounds for Your Soul: