Life isn’t black or white. It’s a full-color experience of joy and pain, clarity and confusion, delight and discomfort. Often, the mess and the magic arrive together. Recently, I was met with a moment I didn’t want, and it reminded me to return to what I teach others. Feel the feelings, acknowledge the fear, and reach for a better thought.
Throughout my life, I’ve navigated many “don’t wants.” I’ve had relationships that I truly hoped would work out, but didn’t. I’ve had to let go of people I didn’t want to, but I knew it was best for my well-being. And while I haven’t personally left a job I wanted to stay in, I know many people have. Those moments can feel heartbreaking, frustrating, and uncertain. However, looking back, even the most difficult endings ultimately led to growth, healing, and greater clarity.
Now, to be clear, this is not about walking away the moment something feels hard. Relationships and jobs require effort, effective communication, and genuine care. This is about recognizing when you’ve shown up fully and consistently, and the energy, respect, or commitment is not being met. When you’ve done your part and things still feel out of alignment, it may be time to pause and consider what serves your well-being moving forward. You deserve more than struggling for the sake of staying.
Moving forward, I invite you to meet your don’t wants by:
Acknowledging them
Your fear wants to be heard because it’s part of you. Let it speak without shame. Then, gently shift from “I don’t want this” to “I do want more peace, clarity, or support.”
Finding gratitude in the mess
There is almost always something to appreciate, even when it feels hard. Sometimes gratitude shows up as a new perspective, as a new beginning.
Paying attention to the patterns
When the same discomfort keeps visiting you, it may be offering a message. What is it trying to teach you about your needs, your voice, or your boundaries?
Choosing alignment over attachment
Not everything that feels familiar is meant to stay. Ask yourself whether this situation reflects who you are and how you want to live.
Even as a positivity strategist, I experience moments that feel heavy and unwanted. I have to remind myself to pause, feel, and choose again. These moments do not define us, but they can refine us. Be gentle with yourself when fear wants to take center stage. Your “don’t wants” may be clearing the way for something far better. You are worthy of a life filled with love, fulfillment, and ease. If you’re ready for support, I invite you to book a discovery session and let’s explore what’s next together.
Affirmation:
I choose alignment over fear.
Words to Love By:
Sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck. — Dalai Lama
You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. — Maya Angelou
When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so long and regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us. — Alexander Graham Bell
Sounds for Your Soul: