Whew. The world feels overwhelming right now, full of conflict and suffering. It is heavy to witness, and sometimes it makes you want to shut down or look away. Even in the midst of it, we can choose where to place our attention.
Even when we try to stay present, the heaviness of the world can creep inside us. The fear, the tension, and the suffering we witness can stir our own doubts and worries. Suddenly, our inner critic feels louder, and we carry the world’s stress on top of the stress we already carry inside ourselves.
That is the war I have been thinking about lately, our internal war with ourselves. The quiet, daily fight over whether we are enough, whether we are living a life we love, and whether we are showing up for ourselves in the ways that matter most.
I am a big believer in self-kindness, and yet I still find myself being my own worst critic. Recently, I received some disappointing news. It was neither life-changing nor hard to move past, yet it stirred old feelings of unworthiness. I found myself spending more time than usual thinking I hadn’t done enough or wasn’t enough. Even with my hug mission, I notice those old fears creeping in, thoughts about not reaching enough people or not making the difference I want.
Even though I teach and coach on self-kindness, I still have to choose each day not to go to war with myself.
When I notice fear, disappointment, or self-criticism rising, I remind myself to focus on what I can control. I cannot control the news I receive or every yes or no that comes my way, but I do have the ability to control how I face it, how I feel it, and how I move forward. You have that power too.
When we are at war with ourselves, it shows up. It influences how we think, speak, and act toward others. But when we are rooted in self-respect and compassion, it becomes easier to show up for ourselves and for the world with kindness and care. The more peace we create inside, the more peace we contribute outside. We are all connected in ways we often forget.
Moving forward, I encourage you to face your worthiness by:
Catching your negative self-talk
Do not beat yourself up for noticing it. Awareness is huge. Once you notice it, pause and replace it with something grounded and positive. Instead of thinking I always mess this up, try telling yourself I am learning and I can adjust. Small shifts matter.
Refusing to make one moment mean everything
Bad news or disappointment is just that, a moment. It does not define your worth or rewrite your story. Let it be information, not identity.
Coming back to what you control
You may not control global events or other people’s choices, but you do control your response, your effort, and your next loving action. That is your power.
Being with yourself on purpose
When I feel myself drifting into fear, I do something that might feel silly to you. I start singing to myself:
I love you, Carol, oh yes, I do.
I love you, Carol, my love is true.
When you’re not with me, I am blue.
Oh, Carol, I love you.
Singing it brings me back to myself and reminds me of what I do have control over.
If you find the internal war getting loud, you do not have to navigate it alone. This is the work I do. I help people recognize the stories they tell themselves, shift their thoughts, words, and actions, and build a life that feels aligned and worthy from the inside out. It is practical, gentle, and it changes how you show up in this beautiful and messy world.
Affirmation
I am on my team.
Sounds for Your Soul